Valentine’s Day, Schmalentine’s Day

Posted By:

Who cares? It’s one day a year where you are supposed to show someone that you care with:

1.)  Candy. Who likes those powdery conversation hearts anyways? Yuck.

2.)  Those unreasonably high-priced, pre-fixed dinner menus with only two choices for your meal. Well, you know what? I want the fish tacos not the roasted “canard” with pea puree.

3.)  Flowers…. just, no. They sit on a table for a few days and then die. What do you really want? Well I don’t know, but it can’t be those.

Here’s how you have the most epic, non-Valentine’s Day, Schmalentine’s Day without having to go out. (You don’t want to see all that PDA anyways. Woof.)

  •  Invite your best friends over, grab a pitcher of beer, and get those frozen pizzas in the oven.
  • All your friends have dates? Go out and buy your favorite candle. But candles are romantic, you say? No. Buy that candle because it freaking smells delicious. Go home and watch a documentary with that delectable candle. (Stay away from regular TV because of all those mushy shows and movies that will, no doubt, be playing.)
  • Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend, but just aren’t into Valentine’s Day? Then do what you would normally do. Do you normally make dinner together and then watch some trash TV? Then do that. Pretend it’s not Valentine’s Day. Because it’s not…. it’s Schmalentine’s Day.
  • Lastly, stay away from social media! All you will see are pictures of roses and gifts with captions like “I have the best boyfriend ever because I told him to not get me anything… but he did anyways. #surprised” And then it will also have some sort of cutesy emoji to finish it off.

Valentine’s Day is just that…. a DAY. It is like any other day. It is what you make it to be. Don’t make it a horrible day though…. Enjoy it! Whether you are single, with your friends, or you have a significant other, Schmalentine’s Day can still be great.


Pin It

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.